Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)
Perhaps one of the hardest and most important things for Christians to learn is how to trust God. This is especially challenging for Christians as they become parents, particularly in this culture, which bombards parents with messages about menaces looming around every corner. Christians have to learn how to resist these fearful messages and trust that God will ultimately protect them and their families. They also have to realize that the mainstream culture is at odds with Christian Faith and, as such, riddled with fears. Of course, evil and real danger do exist in the world but the point of being a Christian—and for that matter a Christian parent—is to rise above these nefarious forces and trust that, as long as they remain with God, even the most unfortunate circumstances will be subsumed into God’s greater plan.
A few days ago, after seeing a commercial for a T.V. show about flesh-eating parasites, our eight-year-old son asked a profound question. He asked, “Why would God create a creature that would eat us from the inside out?” His father replied in the only wise way for a father to respond, “Go ask your mother.” And in her superior wisdom, she explained that these types of parasites are extremely rare. She clarified that humans are not normally on the menu for these creatures. She told him that God created these creatures to survive on organisms other than humans, but that in rare cases people can make themselves susceptible to these types of parasites. He was satisfied with her response. He was also okay with our decision for him to avoid watching that show. Frankly, we did not want to watch it either. Creepy stuff! At any rate, our eight-year-old child’s question actually touched upon a deep philosophical and theological question, “Why does God allow evil, sickness, death, and tragedy to occur?”
Simply put, God did not create mankind to die. Rather, God created a perfect world, full of beauty and life. Satan, in his jealousy, introduced evil into the world, bringing with him suffering and death. Because God loved His creation so, He sent Jesus. Jesus, through his death and resurrection, freed mankind from sin and death. With this knowledge, all those who believe in Christ find peace in the presence of evil, sickness, death, and tragedy. In a culture inundated with fears, however, many Christians face doubts and anxiety. Some Christians fall prey to the devil’s deception and accept the cultural message that evil doesn’t really exist. Other Christians may be fully aware of the presence of evil in the world but become transfixed on the power of the devil. They often give the devil too much credit and become irrationally fearful. In short, they become paranoid.
Sometimes fear is justified. Parents are justified for insisting on general safety rules for their children. For example, thousands of children are injured each year in bicycling accidents. Many of these accidents are unavoidable, but parents have learned there are many ways to reduce the risk of serious injury to their children. They make them wear helmets and insist they be home before dark. This is not paranoia; it’s common sense. Parents only become paranoid when their imagined fears are greatly out of proportion to the reality of the potential risk. For example, there are parents who do not allow their children to swim in the ocean. They have an irrational fear that their children may be attacked or, worse, killed by hungry predators. In reality, shark attacks are highly unlikely. In 2007, there were 64 shark attacks world-wide and only four fatalities. With billions of people in the world, four deaths due to sharks are very good odds. Nonetheless, there are still parents who are terrified of allowing their children to swim in the ocean. With this in mind, the following is a top-ten list of things that today’s parents seem to be paranoid of the most:
10. Germs. Parents go to extreme lengths to protect their children from germs. Apparently, they have never heard of the five second rule and eating a booger is more than just gross--it's dangerous. These parents see creepy critters lurking everywhere, especially on shopping carts. These parents will keep the hand sanitizer industry in the black for decades to come. As Christians, we should know that God made the human body a germ fighting machine, complete with natural ways to fight off infections. Without some exposure to outside germs, the body’s immune system would fail to develop and become susceptible to opportune infections.
9. Holidays that contain fictitious characters. There are actually parents today who are afraid of lying to their children about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. They believe that their children will never trust another living soul should they find out that--egad--their parents surprised them with gifts and candy without getting any of the credit. Perhaps these parents fear that their children might become suspicious of anonymous generosity as well. Some Christian parents fear that these secular traditions might lead their children to honor fat old men and monstrously large lagomorphs as a means to salvation. Halloween adds a whole new dimension to these parents dread with all the zombies and vampire worship, not to mention the razor blades hidden in their neighbor’s candy. Christian parents might find it helpful to recognize that Christians have always used symbols for instruction. These parents can use Saint Nicholas to teach their children about kindness and generosity. They can use the Easter Bunny to teach about new life and rebirth. Christian parents can even use All Hallow's Eve as an opportunity to remember the souls of their ancestors is Heaven.
8. Childhood Diseases requiring vaccinations. Just like the germaphobes, there are plenty of parents who are petrified of communicable childhood diseases. They have visions of their children scarred with pox marks, their entire house in quarantine, or worse, one of their children dying. While it is true some vaccinations have eradicated crippling diseases like polio, the list of necessary vaccines keeps getting longer. Before long starting kindergarten will be similar to traveling to sub-Saharan Africa. At the same time, many parents fear that these vaccinations will plunge their children into a lifetime of silence and suffering from autism. They find themselves caught in the middle of a vaccine war and baffled over the contradictory information. Parents then look to their trusted family doctors for advice. While this may seem an appropriate option, Christian parents may find it helpful to do some research on their own. One required vaccine is for a disease that is mostly contracted through sexual contact. Another vaccine is required to protect against a disease that causes about 100 cases of death per year. Christian parents might pause to consider if these facts outweigh the risks of contracting the actual diseases. Many of these diseases cause nothing more than the mere inconvenience of missed days at school or work but provide lifetime immunity. Of course, as Christians we should be encouraged by medical progress and advances that improve our health and make our lives better. But the slightest mention of disease shouldn’t cause Christian parents to worry unnecessarily or to take risks that might actually endanger their children’s health in the future.
7. Bullies and Bullying. Parents constantly worry that their children are being tormented by bullies whether at school, on the playground, or over the internet. These parents fear that their children, if left unsupervised, will be tortured and antagonized to the point of murder or suicide. These parents have allowed the school systems to aid in combating bullying and fully support zero-tolerance policies—lest their children get stabbed in the hallway with a fingernail file. Christian parents may find it reassuring to note that bullies have existed as long as there have been children with glasses and worn out shoes. Left alone and given encouragement, these children learn to handle mild bullying quite effectively. Many children hone their sense of humor or their salesmanship skills on the playground with burly bullies. Of course, there are a few children on either side of the bullying issue that need parental intervention. This situation is rare and sometimes involves children with mental health concerns. Christian parents should be mindful before interfering in their children’s problems. Children need to learn their own coping and problem-solving skills. Christian parents might also consider the idea that children often perceive kindness for weakness and righteousness as being judgmental which can make their own children targets for bullies. For this reason, Christian parents should be cautious before becoming too critical of their children’s efforts to solve their own problems.
6. Fetal Anomalies. Pregnant couples worry about the condition of their unborn child and it’s not difficult to imagine the worse possible outcomes. Women’s dreams during this time can range from having kittens to having a baby with bat’s wings. Parents always want comfort that their growing child will be healthy. Maternity care providers often make this situation more difficult by over emphasizing testing available at different stages of fetal development for various anomalies. Christian parents can find this especially stressful since any negative result is more often than not met with a suggestion for abortion. These parents will do well to remain encouraged that the actual risk of having a child with a fetal abnormality is rare. Only 2% of women at age 45 have their unborn babies diagnosed with a chromosomal disorder. The odds are considerably lower for a woman in her 20s. In other words, babies are born perfectly healthy over 98% of the time. Christian parents should always be mindful that, even in the case of a difficult diagnosis, God will always provide for their needs.
5. Cervical Cancer. As if parents didn’t have enough to worry about, they now have to reflect on the possibility that their daughters, at some point in the future, might contract cervical cancer. Doctors and pharmaceutical reps would have parents believe that the virus causing cervical cancer can be picked up from the Sunoco gas station toilet seat. Or perhaps it can be contracted from a toad peeing on one’s hand. We suspect the executives at the pharmaceutical company were intentionally vague about the actual vector of contraction for this virus. Christian parents would be wise to study the genuine cause of HPV, the virus that leads to cervical cancer. They should then counsel their children appropriately.
4. Car seats. Parents across the nation agree that an infant car seat is a much safer way to secure a child in an automobile than a Nike shoe box. But hopefully before their children go off to college, these parents might consider dropping the car seat off at the Salvation Army (Recycling is in fashion these days). Since child restraint laws differ by state, there is no consensus on what age this transition should take place. However, it may be safe to assume that the average crash-test dummy is smarter than your local Congressperson. We believe that the car seat manufacturers may be involved in the zero-population growth conspiracy because it is impossible to fit more than two or three restrained children in a Volkswagon Beetle. Of course, Christian parents cannot do much about car seat laws. The laws in many states require children to be restrained until age 8 or higher, and this law is hardly worth being martyred over. Before Christian parents begin strapping car seats to the luggage rack on top of the minivan, they might consider complaining to their Congressperson.
3. Child Abduction. While Americans spend millions of dollars annually in therapy bills to get a monkey off their back, parents spend just $11.50 at Walmart to put a monkey on their kids back. Child safety harnesses come in a variety of friendly animal companions and even Disney has a corner of the market. It seems rather peculiar that parents have resorted to putting their children in leashes and their dogs in dresses. Some parents may actually find it necessary to restrain their children in this manner, but many parents simply fear their children will run away and be kidnapped. Some people watch far too much television, especially the Bill O’Reilly Factor. Christian parents will be wise to consider this fact—the odds of an Adam Walsh style child abduction are comparable to being struck by lightning while wearing green pajamas on the third Thursday in February during a leap year. In fact, the overwhelming majority of children who are abducted are taken by their non-custodial parent—something Christian parents should carefully consider before they sign divorce papers.
2. Their Children’s Failure. Contemporary parents are obsessed with success. They feel defeated if their children haven’t potty trained themselves by two, learned to read by four, or earned their black belt by eight. Parents fill their shelves with bobble-head soccer trophies and 5th place spelling bee ribbons. They want their children to get an A+ in self-esteem. Christian parents, however, should be cautious of this modern approach to parenting. Not only do children need praise but they also need constructive criticism. In this way, children learn how to improve their behavior, control their emotions, and strive to meet their goals. In order for children to grow into self-reliant, independent adults, they need to learn from their mistakes. Christian parents should allow their children to fail yet provide them with comfort and encouragement just as Christ does for His children.
1. Religion. Believe it or not, many parents today fear that their children will join some religious cult, like the Moonies or the Catholics or the Mormons or the Baptists. In some ways, parents fear nothing more in this secular culture than their children becoming religious, especially Christian. Many parents are less afraid that their children will become homosexual. At least if they are gay they will get a good seat at a five-star restaurant. Many Christian parents have a similar fear. They worry that any exposure to peers from different faith groups or to other religions will cause their children to burn the Bible and paint a red dot on their foreheads. Christian parents should be reassured that, as long as they remain confident and positive examples of Christianity, then their children will almost certainly follow their religious instruction.
Our Top Ten List above are clear examples of the Two Percent Trap. Each of these fears are irrational and occur rarely in real life. Christian parents might give careful consideration before falling into this trap. They also might be better served by identifying areas where real dangers exist. These are just a few areas that deserve caution and we invite you to comment on other areas where Paranoia is Paramount.
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