It Ain’t About The Wedding, Babe

Every so often, movie night at our house begins with moans, groans, and sighs. It usually happens when my husband or one of the boys opens the Netflix envelope only to discover a chick flick. This week was especially vocal. The movie wasn't just some sappy love story, but it was actually about weddings. I've had weddings on my mind a lot lately. We celebrated our wedding anniversary this week. I've been dreaming about my niece getting married in a pink camouflage dress. If that weren't enough, our 5 year old daughter picked out her own Cinderella wedding dress while we were shopping. So I suppose it was fitting to watch Bride Wars this weekend.

Bride Wars (PG) is a romantic comedy starring Kate Hudson as Olivia "Liv" Lerner and Anne Hathaway as Emma Allen. The two twenty-something women have been best friends since childhood. Since seeing a wedding at the Plaza Hotel in New York, the girls have fantasized into adulthood about their own perfect Plaza Hotel weddings. Their love and support for each other quickly turns into jealously and spite as they discover their upcoming weddings have been booked for the same day.

We have an unspoken movie rule at our house—any movie rated PG or higher has to be previewed before the younger children can watch it. I'm glad we have this rule. Although they would have laughed at Liv's blue hair and Emma's orange skin, I think our young children would have been confused by the subject matter and sexual innuendo. Also, the scene with Anne Hathaway dancing at the bachelorette party is a bit too risqué for young children. Since the plot is rather juvenile, I suspect older children and teens will catch on rather quickly. They might even find some of this stuff to be hilarious. In spite of a few funny moments, I find the entire concept of Bride Wars to be problematic from a Christian standpoint. Christian parents shouldn't have any trouble recognizing this movie's flaws.

After I watched this movie, I wasn't certain I was going to blog about it. After all, this is a parenting blog. So I contemplated for awhile. Then I saw this clip on television. The last thing I want is for either of our sons to face Bridezilla on his wedding day. I also don't want our sons or daughters to realize at the last minute, like Emma, that they do not love the person in whom they have invested so much time. I suspect that most Christian parents concur. Even though parents can't choose their children's future spouse, I believe Christian parents can and should offer some direction. I believe it starts early and it starts with understanding.

Dating is a relatively modern concept, which is mostly about having fun. Very few young people, including Christians, consider that dating has another purpose. Dating, or courtship, is designed to help young men and women find a suitable spouse. If a young person is not ready to think about marriage, then dating really serves no useful purpose. In fact, it can become emotional and difficult. Once two young people fall in love, it can be really difficult for them to step back if the relationship is moving faster than anticipated or if it begins to crumble. That's where I think this really small tidbit of wisdom can be quite helpful.

Keeping these things in mind, I believe that parents can help their teenagers navigate dating and courtship successfully. Christian parents can begin the conversation early on, especially when they see their children becoming interested in the opposite sex. They should instruct their teenagers that dating is the vehicle to selecting a spouse. Now, I'm not going to suggest that there is a "magic" age for teens to begin dating. Christian parents are more than capable of discerning when the time is appropriate. I will only say that dating is serious business. Dating helps young people identify those who share their values. It can be an exciting, emotional time for teenagers. So under these circumstances, I compiled a list of important notes and helpful hints for Christian parents to pass along to their children.

• There is no such person as a "soul mate." God did not predestine each person to have one true love. Instead, God gave men and women free will along with the desire to love and be loved. Love is a choice.
  


• Christians should date only Christians. Christians who fall in love and marry non-Christians often face difficulties and unhappiness. This is certainly not God's plan for marriage.
  


• Have as many first dates as possible. Christians can never be sure what God's plan is for them, so keep an open mind. It is possible to miss out on God's perfect plan while waiting for Mr. or Miss Right.
  


• Chastity is a Christian's personal responsibility. Young men and women should treat each other with respect. Lack of self control can leave both people emotionally and physically confused.
  


• Avoid becoming serious until marriage is possible. Long courtships can lead young people into sin. These couples eventually become involved sexually and often cohabitate. This can have devastating effects.
  

After I watched this movie, I really couldn't decide which bothered me more—brides fighting in the aisle or brides dancing in the aisle. I must admit, both make pretty good entertainment. Bride Wars did leave me with something, though. I've been having this crazy dream. Smurfette is getting married to an Oompa-Loompa while Bert Parks sings "There She Is, Miss America." Sounds like a wedding theme to me.