In the beginning of our marriage, we were invested in the culture. We took advice and suggestions from people in the secular world--doctors, pediatricians, and psychology professors. This had a profound and often negative effect on both us and our children. At that time, though we both believed in God, our faith was more in a generic Higher Power than any specific diety or Christian God. We were cultural Christians. Gradually or sometimes in fits and bounds, as our Christian faith grew, we had increasing doubts about the deluge of messages from the culture about childrearing. We started wondering about anything from dual careers to teenaged dating, and we found that Christianity put these issues under a very different light. As a result, we became more invested in Christ than in the culture.
We came into our marriage with a contempt for Traditional Christianity. None of our parents were particularly strong Christians, and they frankly made meager attempts to educate us in Christianity. As we became young adults in the 80's, many of the traditional Christian values seemed obsolete to us. At that time, we perceived traditional Christians to be rigid and bigoted, and we did not want to raise our children to be that way. Nonetheless, something changed after the birth of our first child. In retrospect, we realize that God was calling us. At that time, though, we were drawn to the fellowship that may be found in a Christian community.
As a consequence, by becoming so focussed on how much God loved us and our family, we became obsessed with our own importance. At that point, we began to put ourselves before our children and certainly before God. As a result, our lives and our Christian faith unraveled. That life without Christ became very painful. Eventually, we both found it necessary to re-examine Christianity--not only God's love for us, but also our love for God. This meant that we had to think about our obedience to God. Our own moral decay led us to this point; even worse, our children were on a similar trajectory. We prayed. We went back to church. And this time we were armed with the Scripture. We became determined that we were going to live with Christ at the center of our lives, yet somehow live in contemporary society. In other words, we were convicted to do, as Paul said, "to live in the world, but not be of the world." This is often more arduous than it sounds. Contemporary society and technology can easily distract adults from their Christian paths, and raising children either too detached from the modern world or too indulged in it can lead to retaliation or despair. Being a judicious Christian requires not only the balance of Aristotle but also the wisdom of Solomon. We are not the only Christian parents who are trying to meet this challenge. While some Christian parents seem to isolate from the rest of society and others appear to succumb to the momentum of the culture, judicious Christian parents strive to apply their Christian values to living within society. Their path may be difficult. We know many really good Christian families who struggle with fertility issues, breastfeeding, daycare, unruly children, educational choices, appropriate entertainment, peer groups, attire, grooming, dating, driving, alcohol abuse, sexual identity, teenaged pregnacy, and raising children who go on to become Christians themselves. Our hope is that this blog becomes a platform for giving Christian parents the skills, knowledge, and courage they need to raise their children with an ancient and timeless faith in a modern world.
